Mini-Rant - 1 - Bucci

Monday, November 26, 2007

I think I'm going to start another post theme entitled "Mini-Rants" to go along with my Hidden Gems I've already got going. I'm not an angry person per se, but there are some things in life that get me rattled at times. Just to let you know, numero uno on that list is bad grammar. Just puttin that out there.

But I digress, it's time for my first "Mini-Rant" on, none other than, John Buccigross. I have a feeling the vast majority of these are going to be on him. I gotta admit, even though I don't like his columns nearly as much as other analysts' columns, he makes me think. Think about things I would like to say to his face; for instance, "your column is not really entertaining nor is it informative." Is that too formal? What about "You annoy me. Can you just stick to hockey??"

And we're off: I read his column last week called "It's my column and my Hall-worthy picks for each NHL team" and decided to touch on a few things. And by touch, I really mean, make comments or just in general bag on Buccigross.

Los Angeles Kings
Anze Kopitar: Like Van Halen after their first album. You just knew.
Rob Blake: Seven All-Star Games, a Norris Trophy, big part of the Avalanche's 2001 Cup run with 19 points in 23 games and a gigantic butt used to crush sternums.


I think one reason I don’t like Bucci is because I’m too young to get his musical jokes/tastes, which have just started to annoy the crap outta me. And I hope Rob Blake’s butt crushes his face.

Minnesota Wild
Marian Gaborik
: "Hey, Marian! Multivitamins, acai berries, push-ups, prayers, smash up some carrots and rub them all over your chest. Anything. Stay healthy!" I'm gonna take the long-shot guess that the 25-year-old forward can still put a 10-year stretch together to put up numbers one cannot deny.

© Bruce Kluckhohn

Right when I think Bucci’s semi-redeemed himself with the Blake introspective, he immediately comes with this one for Gaborik. A little disturbing.

Chris Drury
: It's my column and my rules. I make them up. He is clutch and, in life, clutch is everything. Move on.

© Bill Wippert/SI

Can someone please tell me why Bucci has this weird uber crush on Drury? And by the way, that team picture of Drury is terrible.

Erik Johnson: I believe Johnson will grade out better than Blake when it is all said and done, and resurfaced and said and done again.


What the hell. I think if anyone else had made this comment I'd think, "Hmm, okay, he played with (or was it against) JMFJ. Maybe I'll check in on him occasionally to see if he's Blake caliber." Man, I'm all annoyed at him again while just posting this! I think I'd rather Bucci just never talk about Blake again. Just stop now.

Vincent Lecavalier: True fact -- Vinny was once put in an underwater cage with a giant chunk of tuna floating just outside. He then watched a giant great white shark pummel the tuna just inches from his face. That is just one of 4,584 things Vinny can do that I cannot. The list also includes beating me up and stealing my wife.

© Richard Corman

I whole-heartedly agree with him on his last point. But I think that Vinny can steal anyone’s wife.


Teebz November 27, 2007 at 6:53 AM  

Buccigross' selections of music are, at best, questionable. It's like the guy is a fan of every hair band of the 1980s.

If he wanted to review music, he should have left the sports world long ago. Instead, he brings mediocre music tastes to exceptionally poor hockey writing.

Him and Burnside are perfect for each other.

Kirsten November 27, 2007 at 7:46 PM  

I really dislike Bucci. I'd just like to tell him to fuck off. I agree, I hope Rob Blake's butt crushes his face. That's a great visual.

Oh and Vinny can steal me anytime he wants. At least Bucci got one thing out of a bajillion correct, I suppose.

Connie November 28, 2007 at 6:33 PM  

Thanks for agreeing with me on this one, guys. He's just so frustrating.

Oh Vinny. I bet that guy is a man-whore and loving every second of it.

Kirsten November 29, 2007 at 9:49 AM  

I'm sure he is. What guy wouldn't love it?

Steph November 30, 2007 at 10:49 AM  

I might be more prone to letting Vinny steal me if he were not making that face. It looks sort of...carnivorous.

Marie November 30, 2007 at 10:52 PM  

I've officially stopped reading his column. After the first two he wrote this season I was so annoyed by almost every single thing he wrote that I completely lost interest in what he has to say.

Connie December 1, 2007 at 4:18 AM  

Yeah, I don't know why I still read them. I just can't help it; it's like driving past a bad accident on the road. I just gotta check it out.

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