More like “High Coffee With Kings”

Original post date: Sunday, September 30, 2007

I would like to take the time to write on my morning on Saturday the 29th at Ummba Grill for "High Tea with Kings" hosted by Keith Korneluk and Chris Kaliszewski of KingsCast podcast. What an awesome season opener to experience. Not only did my beloved Kings stomp on the Ducks 4-1, the game was witnessed by many within the cush setting of Ummba Grill. The ambiance was LA hip and the fans clad in Kings gear (not “crownshirts”) gave the restaurant a more intimate feel. And when I say “LA hip” I'm referring to my assumptions of it since I have been away from So Cal for seven years (blast!). The Silent Auction gave it an official feel as well with items from a Sean Avery-signed puck to a Robitaille jersey, with the proceeds going to Kings Care, and now that I think about it, the same person is now in possession of both items. The most comical item from the lot was a Cloutier-signed puck that went for an astounding $1.50 as the minimum. That made me happy because really, if the minimum had been the standard $25 who would have bid on it?? The dollar fifty price tag gave the whole Cloutier debacle a final slap on the ass. See ya later dude. But I became sad when I was outbid on a signed picture of Anze and Blake. I ended up bidding $40 because some guy named Keith Korneluk decided that it'd be fun to drive up the bidding on that particular item, which I had to beat because I needed the picture. That was, until some random-ass chick decided that her daughter needed the picture more than me!! APPALLING!!! And how much did she bid? A whopping $100 that I wasn't comfortable matching. FUCK. So that basically took me out of contention and also made me pissed as well. Oh well, what can you do other than be annoyed. Unfortunately, according to hottie-Keith there are dozens of kids crying because of me. And I now realize that I've mentioned Keith three, no four times in this post so far. But it's ok since he and Chris can't go through a podcast without mentioning Cloutier numerous times. So I say whatever to that. I will, from now on, refer to him as KK because his name is too long and awkward to type out.

So going back to the title of this post “More like 'High Coffee With Kings.'” I say this because I had been up since 4AM at practice and headed over to Ummba Grill after and decided that I needed a jolt of coffee. By 10AM I had consumed 2 big mugs of delicious coffee and 1/5 of a Bud Light. I was feeling quite buzzed in the lounge outside watching the plasma TV and having a blast. I should also mention that the guy bringing out drinks with the bright smile was super nice to our group. But I have to question out loud, was it because our whole group was probably around his age range or just that KMS2 and I were looking flashy in our Kings jerseys? I'm gonna have to go with the latter on this argument.

Thoughts and musings:

1) The girl singing the national anthem. I don't think I've every actually talked during the singing of our nation's song, but dude...what the fuck... she couldn't carry a tune worth shit. It was so painful to my sensitive ears that I had to just start laughing at the ridiculousness of it. I thought it was just me, but after the first two lines of the song I hear KMS2 saying, “Could she sing ANY SLOWER????” But the funniest part about that whole thing was that when we heard that she was blind, one of guys in our group said, “Yeah, but is she deaf too???” Whereupon we all rolled on the ground in hysterics and that was the end of that conversation.

2) The lighting situation. I don't know if it had been elaborated on by the commentators, but really, didn't you guys have the whole freaking day to work on the lighting?? Why did you decide right before the start of the game to make this worthless decision? You made me wait a whole 15 minutes for the start of the season for something you could have done that morning? Bastards.

3) I totally agree that the Anaheim Fucks looked flat and unenthusiastic through the game. And why did they decide to pick it up in the last five minutes of the game? Did they think that they would be able to score 3 goals in five minutes? I don't care if you're the Stanley Cup Champions, you're still penises in my book. I have realized that my time spent up in northern Cali was focused entirely on hating the Sharks with every atom in my body and not really giving the Ducks any thought. I really didn't care when they won the Cup last year because that meant that the Sharks didn't. It was so bad that by the end of my stint up there (in a place that should be a different state), I was rooting with a fiery passion for any team playing against the Sharks. Fuck those guys. With Thornton, Marleau, and Cheechoo. Fucking annoying. And it really didn't help that Marleau and my old boss sort of resembled each other; I hated that guy. The only redeeming quality was that some of the younger guys were kind of cute and that Drew Remenda was good comic relief at times. But other than that, the Sharks can go suck it. I literally spent the last couple years of my life hearing people trash talk LA when they've probably never been and just go on stereotypes and follow the crowd. Let me say again, FUCKING ANNOYING.

4) I'm really glad that KMS2 got her signed picture of Anze. He's gonna be BIG and we're gonna watch his development through the next couple of years. I do hope he becomes a franchise player and helps take the Kings out of their proverbial rut... And Bernier!! I don't want to jinx anything....so I'm just gonna wait out the season and hope he becomes a goaltender that I can trust.

All-in-all, I had a fantastic time at the Ummba Grill eating, drinking, and being merry. The only downside to the experience: I didn't get Anze and Blake....

For an in-depth analysis of “High Tea with Kings” please see KMS2's post at Purple Crushed Velvet.