None of my boyfriends ever did that for me

Original post date: Thursday, September 27, 2007

Hello all! As this is my first entry on KMS2’s page, I should probably give a little intro of myself. But not just yet. I have a more pressing matter to discuss, that of ridiculousness.

Let me start off by saying this. I came of age watching Full House, Family Matters, and the MMC. I don’t really remember what high school was all about…just awkwardness and learning how to drive? But early college was mildly Britney Spears-influenced. All’s I gots ta say is “poor Britney.” But that’s a whole other entry not for today. I wanted to let you all know that I did not come from the generation growing up with Hilary Duff. So when I heard the name her a couple years ago my initial thoughts were:

1) Who?
2) Her last name is really Duff? Duff Beer? Like in the Simpsons?
3) How is she famous and how have I not heard of her? I look at the covers of gossips rags like any red-blooded American. I thought I was up on my celebrity news.

Apparently not. So I’m on my way to work earlier this week and I turn the radio dial to 102.7 where I hear a headline to an upcoming story, “Hockey player bought his girlfriend a huge birthday gift. Stick around to see who it is and what it was.” I so wanted to hear which player made the news outside of the hockey world! It had to be something big. Alas, they didn’t run the story before I had to go into work. But I was updating myself on the general news a couple nights ago and I see that Mike Comrie was the subject of the news flash that I had previously missed. That dude bought his girlfriend, HILARY DUFF BEER, a flipping Mercedes. WTF. Isn’t she like 12 or something? Mike, do you think she doesn’t have enough money to buy her own car? I mean really, how much free stuff do you think she already gets by just being who she is. And what kills me is that they’ve only been dating a couple of months! Couldn’t you have bought something else on a slightly less of a grand scale? Like a box of chocolates? Half-eaten, Forrest Gump style. Or maybe, just maybe, she sang him a song and put him under a spell. You know, like Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus, “I Put a Spell on You.”

Now I’m curious to see what HE drives….