Mini-Rant – 4 - And Updates

This will be some updates on the Kings and a rant or two. I think I'll start with the rants first. Here we go.

1) Who is the first person up on my Mini-Rant? I'll give you one guess; his name starts with an “A” and ends with “very.” I was reading this article on NHL.com minding my own business and I get to the bottom of the page and what do I see? This terrible picture with an equally terrible quote.

(Courtesy of NHL.com )

Just call me Mr. DBag

This picture makes me want to knock him over bully-style. He is Milhouse and I'm a cuter/smarter Nelson. Not only is the picture atrocious, it makes me wonder if those are real prescription glasses or if they’re the original plastic lenses and he’s just putting up a front. “Hey, look at me guys! I look smart! I also pee sitting down!”

Sean does this to himself; he should know that wearing this type of frame is going to produce ridicule from yours truly. I literally can’t stop laughing at this picture. At the same time, I feel disgusted that his frames look suspiciously like mine. Although I should feel okay about this since my frames don’t make me look like a wacky hipster. In any case, they make me want to punch him in the face even more.

On to the quote: Around the Atlantic -- Outspoken Rangers forward Sean Avery came up with one of the best one-liners of the season when he was asked if he would take a reconditioning assignment when he returns from a wrist injury, saying; “You have a better chance of seeing God.”

BAG OF DOUCHE

2) So apparently the Stanley Cup is going to be riding on a float at the 2008 Pasadena Tournament of Roses Parade. Do I want to wake up ass early and watch this? I think not; I've had enough of Pronger's gap-toothed mug. Instead, I think I'll be sleeping in, watching the Winter Classic, and then heading to the Staples Center to see my Kings take on the Blackhawks. Toews, Kane, and Havlat (if healthy) are going to be the ones I'll be looking for.

3) Hey Teebz! Did you notice that Bucci doesn't have a mail-bag this week? Damn...maybe next week. Perhaps your email caused him to crawl into bed with a gallon of ice cream and not want to touch his computer.

Follow up: So Bucci decided to get his mailbag out today instead of yesterday (someone f-ed up in the web department) and once again, it sucked major ass. Not only does this DBag NOT answer questions, he spouts off random crap in hopes that the reader won't notice that he made absolutely no attempt at even feigning an answer!! Why is this guy even allowed to have a mailbag? Every week it's riddled with grammatical errors and is terribly written. Am I being too hard on him? Well, gee, I thought if you were getting paid to write, you'd at least have the writing skills of someone in middle school. I'll just put ONE of his many stupid responses here:

Hi John,
My wife and I are expecting our first child in 2008 and I'm looking for ideas for a good hockey name. So far, I've come up with "Teppo Newman" if it's a boy, but I'm open to your suggestions.
Matt Newman
Newcastle, Maine

Willie Travis Newman.
Hockey fact: Henri Richard has won the most Stanley Cups as a player (11).

Ok, naming your kid "Willie?" Are we in 1893? And what does Henri Richard have to do with Mr. Newman's question? Am I the only reader that sees Bucci as asinine?

4) I found this picture on Ken Henderson's blog of artwork. I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

Updates:

1) As of 12.14.07, the Kings currently sit tied for last in the NHL. The Kings (12-18-2), Caps (12-17-2), and the Yotes (13-16-0) all have 26 points a piece, but in the last 10 games the Yotes have gone 4-6-0, Caps have gone 6-3-1, and the Kings have registered 3-6-1. Hmm, this does not sound that good. Can you tell me what the F they have to do to get two wins in a row?

2) On a MUCH HIGHER note, the Kings currently have 3 prospects who have been selected to Team Canada for the 2008 IIHF World Junior Championship tournament. They are goalie Jonathan Bernier, defenseman Thomas Hickey, and forward Wayne Simmonds.

Also, prospect Oscar Moller will be playing for Team Sweden. (They probably couldn't have taken a more adorable picture. He looks so happy!)

3) Not only is Jonathan Bernier the next hottest thing in net (move over Ricky Di), but he's also awesome.