Some People Just Can't Help It

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

When you grow up in a decent-sized town in an extraordinarily small state, receive your higher education from said state, and have been working in the same town for the past 23 years, what's the best way to occupy your dulled senses?

I guess become the mastermind of a prostitution ring. Manchester Monarchs beat writer Kevin Provencher was arrested today on felony charges related to finding financially-desperate women willing to sleep with equally desperate men. The charges state that he derived "income from prostitution." C'mon people, he's a beat writer in a small state. How much could his income be? The man needs to eat!

According to the article, one of the prostitutes allegedly complained about the 65-mile drive from Quincy to Manchester being too long so he did the gentlemanly-pimp thing of moving his operations to Andover, MA (36.5 miles). Well, this proved to be the killing of operations as authorities "could clearly hear activities consistent with sexual intercourse."

Case closed. But where am I going to get my Monarchs news from now?

5 comments:

Greener July 29, 2009 at 7:35 PM  

Hilarious! Great post.

Brad July 30, 2009 at 11:11 PM  

who doesn't love hookers?

Tom Hughes July 31, 2009 at 8:35 AM  

I think this calls for a little investigation into rich hammonds activities other than blogging

Connie August 1, 2009 at 10:17 AM  

Greener - Thank you much, sir.

Brad - You tell me. =P

Tom - Not a surprising conclusion to reach.

Q-girl August 6, 2009 at 12:23 PM  

More bloggers should be heading prostitution rings. I could be blogger, pimp and prostitute all in one. It probably pays better than blogger/grad student.

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