Some People Just Can't Help It

When you grow up in a decent-sized town in an extraordinarily small state, receive your higher education from said state, and have been working in the same town for the past 23 years, what's the best way to occupy your dulled senses?

I guess become the mastermind of a prostitution ring. Manchester Monarchs beat writer Kevin Provencher was arrested today on felony charges related to finding financially-desperate women willing to sleep with equally desperate men. The charges state that he derived "income from prostitution." C'mon people, he's a beat writer in a small state. How much could his income be? The man needs to eat!

According to the article, one of the prostitutes allegedly complained about the 65-mile drive from Quincy to Manchester being too long so he did the gentlemanly-pimp thing of moving his operations to Andover, MA (36.5 miles). Well, this proved to be the killing of operations as authorities "could clearly hear activities consistent with sexual intercourse."

Case closed. But where am I going to get my Monarchs news from now?

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Dean Lombardi Is A Genius

I hate double posting, but I can't wait for this one. Jack Johnson was signed to a two-year deal earlier today. The cap hit will be $1.425 for the two years.

Dean Lombardi, I bow down to you.

(Further analysis to come after Teddy Purcell is re-signed.)

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Kings Schedule In Depth

When the Kings schedule was released last year, I spent numerous labor-intensive hours examining and breaking down the schedule. Two days ago the Kings released the 09-10 schedule with a very comprehensive breakdown virtually eliminating any work for me; thanks guys! This season starts out with more promise than a year ago, so I feel I'm looking at the schedule with a different mindset. There are teams that the Kings could easily dominate who weren't so easy to play against last year (Minnesota and possibly San Jose). San Jose had been making zero waves this summer, so I'm not exactly sure with my assessment; all I know is the Kings are stronger now so it'll be interesting to watch.

The following is a quick scan on my part after perusing the schedule:

Oct. Sat. 3 vs. Phoenix (home opener): Talk about the most boring way to begin the season...
Oct. Tues. 6 vs. San Jose: ...Go Rob Blake...
Oct. Sat. 10 @ St. Louis: Start of the longest road trip over 11 days
Oct. Mon. 12 @ Islanders: Will Matt Moulson play??
Oct. Mon. 26 Toronto @ Anaheim: Going to the Pond for this one... will need a women-sized Leafs jersey. Wouldn't that be hysterical if I got Burke on the back of it? Hated him in Anaheim, but like him in Toronto.

Nov. Thurs. 5 vs. Pittsburgh: Sidney Crosby at Staples!
Nov. Mon. 9 @ Chicago: Start of possibly the worst 5-game road trip. CHI, CAR, ATL, TBL, FLA. Zzz..zzzzz....ZZzzZzzzz....
Nov. Wed. 18 @ Philadelphia: Pronger still in orange, yikes.
Nov. Wed. 25 @ Edmonton: Battle versus Moose!

Dec. Thurs. 10 vs. Phoenix: Can't think of a more boring two-game home-stand.
Dec. Sat. 12 vs. Dallas: ...zzz...ZZZzzzzZZzz....

Jan. Sat. 2 vs. Washington: Do you think Ovechkin will try to take a run at Dustin Brown again? Ow, my ear!
Jan. Thurs. 21 vs. Buffalo: End of the longest home-stand at seven games.

Feb. Sat. 13 vs. Colorado: First game against Kyle Quincey! How many tears will Ryan Smyth shed?
Feb. Sun. 14 - Mar. Mon. 1: Olympic Break. Can't say either way if I'm excited yet. I probably will be, but I'll just be hoping the Kings are still in the hunt at this point.

Mar. Sat. 6 vs. Montreal: Kings against the smallest line in the NHL, which includes Michael Cammalleri, bahaha.

Apr. Sat. 10 vs. Edmonton: Last home game of the season; not a bad way to end except if both teams need that last few points to get into the 8-seed.
Apr. Sun 11 @ Colorado: Kings end regular season with a back-to-back, hrm.

Any games that stand out to you? Let me know if I missed something of interest...

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Help Please

So I decided to take a slowdown type of break this summer from the blog and not do the insane Year-In-Reviews I did a year ago. I've enjoyed my time relaxing, but I definitely have a need to write something right now. Here is where you come in.

To my faithful readers: what would you like to read about for my next post? I don't want to do what everyone else is doing; rather, I would like to supplement what is already out there. Gann Matsuda is doing a fantastic job with interviews and the like. Rich Hammond always has something going on. KingsCast is still active over the summer with the Overtime videos.

Please let me know in the comments or email! I would really appreciate a jumpstart of some sort.

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No Coincidence... Really

I swear this is not a plug for the new iPhone. I just wanted to point out the eyebrow raising that this commercial may cause Kings fans.

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Asshole Coming Through

Well, Lombardi finally made a splash tonight after a very quiet Free Agency opening day with many GMs out of their minds signing players to ridiculous contracts. The wait was killer as a Kings fan and finally Darren Dreger (resident favorite of A Queen Among Kings) broke the story via Twitter just a few minutes ago that the Kings had traded for Aves' Ryan Smyth.

Reaction #1: Omg, we got an asshole in the lineup.

Reaction #2: Who in Zeus' jizz did the Kings give up to get Smyth?

Reaction #3: (After reading the trade results) Hahaha!

In the end the Kings gave up a 5th round pick in 2010, D Kyle Quincey, and D Tom Preissing. First off, the 5th round pick is chump change. Secondly, I cannot believe someone took Preissing from us!!

Lombardi, you are awesome.

But, sadly Quincey will be leaving the sunny coast of Los Angeles for the snowbanks of Denver. This is the only part I'm a bit sad about, but we didn't really need him after the signing of Rob Scuderi (Go Deano!) to a 4-year, $13.6 million contract yesterday. Smyth has 3 years remaining on his 5-year contract in Colorado with the cap hit at $6.25 mil. He will make $6.5 mil this season, $5.5 next, and $4.5 in 2011-2012. Quincey was definitely the big piece in this trade and I'm glad that was all the Kings had to give up.

The pieces are falling into place... and jesus christ, Ryan Smyth is a King...

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Douchebaggery

Michael Cammalleri's 5-year, $30 million deal.


Initial reaction:

OH

MY

GOD

THAT

ASSHOLE.

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